ibility Bulletproof: Curtis 50 Cent Jackson has survived his past to enjoy success enough fragrance, he suggests. Isnt he bringing out his own, though? I suggest it be called 50s Scent Fiddy decides to tactfully ignore this. Its called Power by 50 Cent, he says firmly. The smell of success, baby! I had test runs of it. Id spray it on me and go out in public and when I started getting compliments I thought, this is good. Momentarily stunned by the image of 50 Cent trying to create the Lynx effect, now seems the time to proffer our small gift. Wow! he responds. Thank you. Can I open it now? Oh, its for Christmas Day? Its a book! This is nice. Im gonna give books for Christmas presents. He jumps up and heads for the door, present in hand. I got a gift! he announces loudly to his manager and disappears in an excited flurry without saying goodbye. Seems the magic of Christmas can bring out the child in all of us. Before I Self Destruct is out now Its been a strong year for Irish fiction but one dominated by a triumvirate of men: Colum McCann, Colm Tibn and William Trevor. The literary conceit at the heart of McCanns heartrending Let The Great World Spin is acrobat Philippe Petites now infamous tightrope walk between Manhattans Twin Towers. McCann casts his net far and wide in this National Book Award- winning novel where a host of meticulously realised characters cope with life in 1970s New York; the central protagonists are two brothers aspiring monk Corrigan and his brother Ciarn who leave smalltown Ireland for a new life in the US, but McCann is just as confident delineating native New Yorkers as he is its immigrant population. Grief and hardship are everywhere in McCanns novel but the overall feeling is one of joy. If Let The Great World Spin is a baggy, loose- limbed masterpiece, Colm Tibns Brooklyn could be its pared back, slimmer cousin. Again, the immigrant experience is painstakingly realised in the low-key tale of Eilis Lacey, a young woman from Wexford who begins a new life in Brooklyn. Not a lot happens but Tibns unruffled prose style is as precise as ever and when Eilis must finally choose between two lives and two lovers, the results are poignant yet understated. The same could be said of William Trevors (pictured left) gem of a novel, Love And Summer, set in mid- twentieth century rural Ireland. Here, a young woman, in an affectionate but loveless marriage, falls for a handsome photographer with whom she has a brief affair that means much more to her than it does to him. Nobody writes about disappointment like Trevor but his prose is so evocative and his tone so tender, the effect is ultimately life-affirming. Irish crime fiction continued to impress in 2009. Declan Hughess All The Dead Voices, his fourth featuring Ed Loy, was his best yet; Gene Kerrigan pulled off the not inconsiderable feat of bettering his 2007 novel The Midnight Choir with Dark Days In The City, a nuanced and breathless thriller; while gangland and corporate criminals were combined in Alan Glynns masterful Winterland. Michael Farrell, a septuagenarian former priest from Longford, impressed with his debut short- story collection Life In The Universe which boasted tales that were strange, philosophical and savvy. Meanwhile, the debut novel of the year was Peter Murphys virtuoso John The Revelator, about a tortured adolescent slowly making sense of the world. It was a relatively quiet year for female novelists though Claire Kilroys (pictured below) All Names Have Been Changed had more than one or two fine moments, while Jennifer Johnstons novella Truth Or Fiction, about an aged writer raking over his past, was odd but memorable. Daragh Reddin May 1980: Kate Lawler is born. 2002: Dazzles the nation with her antics in Big Brother and wins the show, beating Jade Goody who comes third. Lands a DJing job at Capital which lasts 14 months. 2003: Presents Channel 4 breakfast show RI:SE. Gaffes include an impression of an Irishman which consists of her pretending to fire a machine gun. 2005: Appears as The Brawler on disastrous ITV show Celebrity Wrestling. Is also provoked into doing stand-up at the Edinburgh Festival after Piers Morgan calls her talentless. 2006: Appears on ITVs Love Island, cast purely to further unhinge the already doolally model Sophie Anderton who stipulated in her contract that if Lawler appeared on the programme she would leave. She didnt. Goes on to front ITV2 dating show Playdate and a campaign for high street sex shop Ann Summers. 2007: Starts presenting a show on Kerrang! radio. Banned from driving for six months after being caught speeding. 2008: Runs the London Marathon wearing only Ann Summers lingerie. Dec 2009: After months in the publicity wilderness Kate pops up in the papers after allegedly trying to have sex with a man in a plane toilet, jetting from glamorous Guernsey to Gatwick with budget airline Flybe. Shed previously gone mad after being told shed have to check in her record bag. Keep living the dream... Andrew Williams DOWN THE DUMPER This weeks fickle finger of fame pokes Kate Lawler Not so much a teen sensation as the leader of a sparkly-eyed global cult, Miley Cyrus is proof that, whilst the music industry may be changed utterly after a decade of file- sharing, one thing endures: adolescent girls craving a big sister role-model with a line in catchy dance tunes. Cyrus herself, though, seems increasingly uncomfortable with the apple pie persona that she has been asked to embody as her Disney Channel alter-ego Hannah Montana. First there was last years eye-poppingly steamy Vanity Fair photo- shoot; then came paparazzi shots of Cyrus arriving for her 17th birthday in hot-pants and fishnet tights (the bash had a 1980s theme, though that doesnt quite explain why Cyrus was dressed like a backing singer from a Whitesnake video). Still, on stage she (sometimes) remains a picture of wholesomeness with songs that make Avril Lavigne sound like Ministry and next to which the Jonas Brothers come on like dangerous outlaws you really should keep away from your daughters. In a few years, shell face the treacherous transition from tweenie mega-star to fully functioning adult for now Cyrus, however, remains the reigning queen of teen pop and you may be sure that at The O2 shell receive a welcome fit for royalty. Eamon de Paor Tonight and tomorrow, The O2, East Link Bridge D1 6.30pm, 65.70 to 86.25 (returns only). Tel: 0818 719 391. www.miley cyrus.com GIG Miley Cyrus Wednesday, December 16, 2009 metrolife 15 Staying In Irish Fiction of the year camper than Christmas aide Dandini, whose rendition of Girls Alouds The Promise will be forever etched on the memory, and Colin Hughes unrequited lover Buttons tugs the heart strings. Lavish though they are, the set changes are as slick as musical director David Hayes live, synthesised score, although the Michael Jackson medley begs for the Thriller dance routine led by Anna McCallisters Tim Burton-lite Wicked Stepmother. But if you fail to titter at the Thierry Henry sequence Ill eat my flashing reindeer antlers. Lucy White Until Jan 17, The Helix, DCU, Collins Avenue, Glasnevin D9, various times & prices. Tel: (01) 700 7000. www.thehelix.ie index.html2.html3.html4.html5.html6.html7.html8.html9.html10.html11.html12.html13.html14.html15.html16.html17.html18.html19.html20.html21.html22.html23.html